Never assume you understand

Never assume you understand

 Make this a rule and you will avoid lots of problems and misunderstandings. I have sat in sessions with couples who have started a fight before my eyes because one of them misunderstood the other. Very often couples even argue about the very same thing! If you find that this happens to you a lot, try to make it a rule to double check with each other. If your partner says "I will see you at the entrance to the mall at 3pm', confirm that you have understood her. Say 'Three o'clock at the FRONT entrance, right?'

 Sometimes we interpret things or communicate things incorrectly and then it is even more important to double check that you understand, before becoming emotional and attaching your own meaning to something. If your partner says "Sometimes I long for the times when I was single" it is very easy to translate this into "I wish I had never married you", especially when you are feeling insecure. Once again, don't assume - rather double check. Say "Do you mean that you wish that you had never married me?" or just "What do you mean by that?" You will find that you avoid many arguments and misunderstandings if you do not always assume that you understand and confirm that you have heard and interpreted your partner correctly.

Posted in: Ten Steps to Better Communication